"Door ke dhol suhane" ,"galay para dhol bajana he parta hai" "shadi ke laddoo jo khai pachtay ur jo na khai woh bhi pachtay" Shadi, jo ke aik muqaddas fareeza he nahin ,balkay Sunnat bhi hai- is main is qadar yasyat bharay muhawray ya paraishan kun tajurbaat he kyon samne aatay hain ,ur agar haqeeqat waqi aisi he hai tu is main qsoor kis ka hai ,kyonke shadi waleden ki tay karda ho ya pasand ki ...."char din ki chandni ur phir andheri raat"kyon chah jaati hai, is khichaow ur tanao ki ibteda koun karta hai ?kya saas is ki zimmedar hoti hai, bahoo?ya nand ur joint family system ya doolha myan---mera khyal hai ke sab se mazloom kirdar shreef mard ka hota hai kyonke baad main beshak alag ho jain lekin shadi ke shroo main tu sab saath he rehte hain , ab woh mouashi haalat hon ya hamray tour tareeqay,bahrhaal hota yehi hai ke baday urmanon se jis baitay ya bhai ke lye jis ladki ko byah kar laya jata hai osi ke lye larkay ki maa ur behenen, kehti hain ke joro ka ghulaam ho gaya hai ,begum ko shikayat hoti hai kay on ke myan tu maa ke mittho hain ur ladkay ki saas ka kehna ye ke damad hotay he aise hain dono haathon main laddo ur mohn main gud ,Shayed hamaray pyar karnay ka ye andaz ke falan ko mairay lye ,aisa ur aisa karna chahye ghalat hai-sari dunyan main shadyan hoti hain , har mazhab har qoum main ,sub ke apnay apnay tareeqay hain jin main woh magan hain, siwaye hamaray ,kyonke hum tu andhi taqleed main lagay hue hain kabhi maghrabi mumalik ki tu kabhi parosi rasoomat ki , ur in main itna rach bus gai hain ke ye ehsaas hi khtam ho gya hai ke shadi ki asal rooh kya hai ur in lawazmat ke baghair bhi shadi ho sakti hai ,shadi tay hone ke baad se le kar dholki ,mayoon mehndi, bari ,pehnaoni,falani falani rasoomat ur naig ke beech kahin na kahin kisi na kisi ki dilazari ho he jati hai ur yahin se dilon main drar ya khichaow paida hota hai jo ke nukta-e-aghaz sabit hota hai ranjishon ka ..Sadgi se shdi per zor ki chand wajoohat main se aik ye bhi hai -Bharhal shadi ke baad myan biwi , ssas bahoo ,susar damad ur nand bhawaj ke aik dosray per" haqooq "ur urman jaag jatay hain .Agar hum sirf do baaton ko dhyan main rakhen ke aaya jo haq hum maang rahe hain ,mazhab ka is main kitna dakhal hai ,ur agar nahin tu foran dil se nikal den ,dosri baat jin rasoomaat ke poora karne per itna zor dya ja raha hai un ka shumaar bidaat main tu nahin hota .hamaray deen main sab se zyda haqooqulibaad par zor dya gya hai ,lekin sawal yeh hai ke agar aap ki aankhen (auqal) ki 6/6 hain tub tu aap ko saab nazar aai ga, ke kis ka kya haq hai ur kis ka kitna qasoor lekin agar aap ki nazar kamzor hai tu phir koi bhi occulist aap ko "iss" nazar ka chashma bana kar nahin de sakta ,ur agar jantay boojhtay chashm poshi karen ge, ke jo dub gya os ko daba lo ghar ka mahoul tu ladaye jhagray se khrab nahin ho ga tu Allah ke bhi gunah gaar honge ur banday ke bhi ....tu phir Allah se dua ur madad mangen ur zinadi main kisi bhi qism ka faisla kartay hue hamaish is baat ka khyal rakkhen ke jis kisi ke bhi haq main ya khilaf aap faisla kar rahai hen ,Allah aap ko dekh raha hai ,"ghutna hamaisha pait ki taraf hi jhukta hai" wali polisy bazahir tu kamyaab nazar aati hai lekin ,yeh tay shuda baat hai ke sach ko nazar andaz kar ke waqti faiday ke lye , jab kisi insaan ka ghalat favour kya jata hai tu Allah taala osi insan ko baad main aap ke galay ka phanda bana kar rakh deta hai-aap ki waleda ur behnen pehlay bhi aap ke saath thin ,har insan ki tarah un ke bhi masbat ur munfi pehlo hain jo aap per ayan hain ke kis qisim ki baat per un ka umooman kya radde amal hota hai ,ghar walon ki aadat ur pasand napasand se nai aane wali larki ko mutaarif karwaen ,begam ke rishtedaron ko izzat den, ur apne chotay bhai behnon se ose izzat dilwaen ,(jis ke lye shadi se qabl aap k khud k siblings k saath taluquaat ur husnesalook ya badsalooki ki bhi badi ahmyat hai)itne,saalon ke juray qareebi rishtay daaron ko chor kar nai logon se jurnay main kuch bachyan zyada waqt leti hain on ki hosla afzai ur madad karen ,osay subordinate nahin dost banaen , aagar muashi tour per halat pareshani ka shikar hain ,tu biwi ko os se yaksar alag kar ke oon halat per korhna ur dosri taraf ,begum ko sabz bagh ki sair karana ,danish mandi nahin, is qisim ki handi ka chourahay per phootnay ka zyda khatra hota hai.ur aurat naqisul aqal ur mard aqal e kul wali soch bhi khrabi ki jad hoti hai kyon ke jahan ghroor aaya wahan aqal per parda par jata hai ,koi bhi perfect nahin hosakta ,is lye apni khamyoon ko bhi khulay zehen se accept karen .,bay aib zaat tu sirf Allah ki hai ,is lye agar biwi aap ko tokti hai ,tu os per naraz honay ur ose nazar andaz karnay ke bajay khud main sudhar lanay ki koshish karen,dua karen ke woh aap ki ur aap os ki zindagi ko pur sokon bana saken
Kehtay hain ke shadi ke lye larki main chaar baten dekhni chahyen ,deen dar ,khandani,khoobsurti,ur hesyat. tu yaqeen karen ke agar aap ki shreek e hyat deen ki samajh rakhti hon ur khandani hon tu aap ke in tamaam aamaal ke silay main aap ki zindagi ko jannat bana de gi phir ,fikar na faqa aish kar kaka ....................lekin agar dil haar kar ya lalach main aakar deegar do aqsam se shadi ki ,ya phir baad main maloom hua ke zindagi ka aik bohut bada faisla kuch zyda acha nahin hua hai ,tab bhi mayoosi gunah hai ,dua ur sahee hikmat e amali se kya nahin ho sakta , ye tu phir aik adad mon zor ,tez tarrar khatoon ki tarbyat ki baat hai ,jo ke on ke waldain apni goo nagoon masroofyaat ki bina per na kar sake,ur ab muamla aap ka hai ke agar aap pakay hue phal ki tarah un ki goud , balkay qadmon main gir gai. ya oon ke bhagon cheekay ki tarah toot gai ,tu dunya main bhi aap ki koi izzat nahin ho gi ur ,on khatoon ki wajah se jo aap ke ghar walon ki haq talafi ho gi woh bhi os had tak zaroor aap ke hissay may aai gi jis per aap ko Allah ne ikhtyar dya lekin apni zimmaidari ko nibha na sakay,ur faraiz se ghaflat ki bina per aapke youm e hisab bhi tahi dama honay ka imkan hai tu phir kya kya jai ..........................................talaq tu itna qabeeh lafz hai ke is ki soch se bhi door rehna chahye, ta waqte ke wo intehai zroorat waqey na ho jai jis ke lye is ki gunjaish rakhi gai hai.........................seedhi si baat hai ke, Allah se madad ur rehnumai mangen ,ur atal faisla kar len ke zindagi main kabhi bhi kabootar ur shuter murgh se faiz hasil nahin karen gay ,himmat e mardan madad e Khuda ,himmat kar ke ji kada ur dil mazboot kar len kyon ke syanay keh gai hain ke kamzor dil banda aurat ko mold kar hi nahin sakta sirf do aanso hi sara nasha hiran karnay ke lye kafi hotay hain ,sab say behter ye hota hai ke aap alag rahen ,is tarah family ke sab hi log aik dosray se ulajhnay se bach jatay hain aur kaam adha reh jata hai ,lekin kisi bhi wajah se alag rehna na mumkin ho tu phir pehlay tamaam oonch nech ko saleeqay ur tahamul se samjhaen ,lekin is ke bawajood bhi halaat qaboo se bahar hotay ja rahay hon ur,shikayat mutawaatir mousool ho rahi hon tu haqayq ko jama kar ke is puzal ko solve karen, jhoot sab se bada fitna hai is lye jhootay ko nasirf ghar tak pohnchaen balkay ,practicaly ye bhi wazeh kar den ke jhoot suntay hi aap ki aankhen laal ur zubaan bahar aajati hai ,sar per seeng ur paon ultay hojaatay hain,is baat ki teh tak zaroor pohnchen ke bazahir nazr aanaywala in ka gharoor ya over confidence kahin inferiorty complex tu nahin,aisa hai tu oon ka etemaad bahal karnay main madad karen ,dosri soorut main ye baat wazeh karnay wali hai ke "jo daali jhukna na janay woh toot jati hai.Is project per kaam ke douran shaitan ke shur se panah mangtay rahen kyon ke ,shaitan ko aik lamha kafi hota hai dil main baal dalnay ke lye ,ur jab yeh shuk ke baal mulaem,ghanay ,reshmi ur chamakdaar ho jatay hain tu in ki chamak aankhon ko kheera kar deti hai ,ye na ho ke aap ke sakht iqdamat ke baes begum saab kisi aur tarah ke shakook o shubhaat ka shikar ho jaen ,lehazah kabhi khushi kabhi ghum wala muamla zyada behter rahay ga ,kyonke yahan per maqsad islah hai azeyat nahin ,do baten hamaisha zehen main rakhen,#1(mafhoom)Bibi Hawwa Hazrat Aadam ki akhri pasli se paida huin thin jo ke sab se terhi pasli hai is lye ye terh ourat ki fitrat main hai ,tu is ko itna seedha krnay ki koshish na ki jai ke woh toot jai #2 "don't throw the baby with the bath water" agar on main kuch numayan kharabyan hain tu yaqeenun aisi khubyan bhi hongi jo bazahir nazar nahin aarahin ,on ko mehsoos karen bikul "geologist" ki tarah .jaisay qeemti dhaaten Allah ne zameen main intehai gehrai main chupa rakhi hain ,onhen talash kar ke on per mehnat ki jai tu phir woh nasirf zeenat ka sabab hoti hain balkay sarmaya bhi ,aap ne naryal,(coconut) walay ko dekha ho ga kay kis tarah woh ,maharat ke saath oopar ka sakht khoul toud kar ,nasirf sabut naryal nikal leta hai balkay us ka pani bhi zaya nahin honay deta ,ye he tareeqa e kaar aap ka hona chahye ke on ki shakhsyat ke khraab pehloo ko is tarah durust karen ke tashakkhus barqaraar rahay aur etemad khtam na ho ,kyonke kal ko aap ke khandan ki dor in ke he hathon main ho gi aur bachon ki achhi tarbyat ke lye maa ka pur etemaad hona bohut zaroori hai,waisay agar is douran woh nadamat mehsoos karen aur ankhon main aanso aajain tu aap ka kaam nimat gya "subah ka bhoola sham ko ghar aajay tu ......."lekin hoshyar is baat se rehna hai ke yeh aansoo magar machh ke tu nahin agar aisa hai tu is baar aap ko dentist bun na ho ga (magar mach ke root canal ke lye)-jub koi mareez ko lekar docter ke paas aata hai tu docter os ke marz ki tashkhees ke lye lab main bhej deta hai ,phir wahan se na samajh main aanay wali zaban main tashkhees kar di jaati hai ,tab aaap ko bataya jata hai ke ye marz sirf dawa say he theek ho jai ga ya kisi therapy ya phir opration ki zaroorat paday gi .phir aap ki marzi hai ke aap koun sa tareeqa e ilaaj ba asani afford kar saktay hain , is ke lye qareebi ;"danish mand," logon se mashwara karen ,jo saath he" ikhlas" aur "Khuda khuofi" bhi rakhtay hon ,tu behter mashwaray aur rehnumai ki umeed ki ja sakti hai lekin hamesha zehen main rakhen k aap kay har iqdam ka natija aap ko ya phir aap kay bachoon ko face karna hoga ,behtreen tareeqa Duae istekharah ka ose samajh kar baar baar padhna hai,kyonkay Allah he hai jo aap ki isteta'at aur bay basi say bhi waqif hai ,aur oonka dil badalnay per bhi Wohi Qadir hai ,.......lekin dua kay saath dawa ki bhi zaroorat hoti hai islye,munasib hikmateamali ,mehnat,lagan aur isteqaamat,ka daaman bhi thamay rakhen ........................... aap ko agar ye bata bhi dya jai ke ghanti milti kahan pe hai,phir bhi ose billi ke galay main bandhna aap hi ko hai .............to be continued
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